Years and years ago my mother planted daffodils along one side of our house. Today as I passed the floral section at the grocery store, I spied a few potted plants of daffodils. I smelled their heavenly scent. It’s moments like these when I feel a spirit visit as though my mother is calling to me, “Hello! I love you! Enjoy your beautiful day.”

My mom was one of those selfless, incredible women who gave one hundred percent to her family. I have a few extra special memories of her when I was young. Unfortunately, I was an extremely sick child due to having spinal meningitis when I was two and a half. Once she set up a lawn chair in the hallway so I could get to the bathroom asap. I also remember being a very fussy eater and running away once with a can of food I did not want her to prepare. She chased me around the house, and hollered, “Wait til your father gets home.” This was a very dark comment because my dad was hot-tempered and impatient.

When I was in second grade, my mother became completely paralyzed overnight. Suddenly, a vibrant, generous spirit could no longer walk, talk, or feed herself. She did not lose any of her mental facilities. We learned how to communicate through facial expressions, asking tons of questions, and using an alphabet board that she used to spell out words.

It still mystifies me how things can change so quickly. She was in the Iowa City hospital for close to a year, and spent some time at Mayo. They decided she had multiple sclerosis. Obviously things changed for my family. That pivotal moment in my life, I believe impacted not only my behavior but also my personality. I believe that if my mother had been well and healthy throughout her lifetime, I would have been a kinder, wiser, more patient person. Instead, I turned out to be impulsive, a bit stubborn and at times unhinged.

I can’t change my past, but I will always cherish the beauty of daffodils and the love and strength my mother shared through her gentle nursing and by surviving the best she could while being paralyzed.