Slice of Life Post, May 23, 2023, by Barb Edler

Lately I’ve been dealing with a huge lack of communication. I’m often mystified by why some people do not respond to emails. I think there is some sort of carbon footprint that emails create, but I do not understand how that works at all. Often, I will finally receive an email a week or two later, but that seems like an inordinate amount of time to respond. I realize a lot of people disconnect when they are not working so it’s understandable, but I’m not that kind of person. I do not disconnect. I do respond. I try to be thoughtful and responsive. I guess that’s why these things bother me.

When I do not hear back from people, I get “all upside my head” so to speak, questioning my feelings. Honestly, this is hard to explain. I wish I had a hardier shell and things just didn’t faze me. A lot of things do not really matter, but I feel like I’m on edge too often while waiting for someone to contact me so I can move forward, finish the job assigned, etc.

For example, I’ve been waiting for a contract for a job I think I have, but now wondering if I actually do have this job because of the lack of communication. If I did something and they’ve changed their minds, why don’t they call. I’m just mystified. I have two writings I need to upload, but I’m waiting for an email for the go ahead to upload since they changed the way they receive the work.

I guess I’m just venting because I feel stymied. I question when to push forward and be more assertive fearing that I may be annoying someone who is far busier than I am. Anyhoo, enough of my self-talk post about why I’m frustrated with the fact that people do not want to communicate with me, so I’ll end with a poem I wrote recently.

Visitations

Seeing specters
of family
lost long ago

is like finding
my own heart
still beating

pumping
blood and
air I
remember

until father speaks
melancholy deep
frowning and says
just sleep



Barb Edler
20 May 2023