Sitting Behind the Eight Ball

Sunday’s Gray

Slice of Life Post for March 24, 2024

Family Photo from Summer 2019

It’s gray, cold and blustery out this morning. I just want to pull the covers over my head and stay in bed. Gray days have the power to zap all my energy. I need to work on taxes, prepare for a book talk I am leading, and prepare for the week ahead.

I miss my kids on gray days. In the above photo, you will see my youngest son is on the right with his fiancée. They are now married. My husband and I decided to treat them to a vacation to South Dakota and Wyoming before dropping south to visit our two sons in Colorado. This was about seven months after the death of my middle son.

I’m so glad we went on that vacation. We enjoyed the scenery and I had always wanted to go to Devil’s Tower, which I can now check off my bucket list, but I wouldn’t mind going back there again. The day we visited, the weather was much like today, gray and blustery. While walking around Devil’s Tower, an eerie wind created a sound I’d never heard before, a truly spiritual and unforgettable moment, and one I carry close to my heart.

Before we headed home, I took a family photo. I will always treasure this photo because everyone is together, and you can even see me taking the photograph in the mirror behind the couch. I wrote an ekphrastic poem about this photograph in the form of a pantoum. I’m not very good at writing pantoums, but I try from time to time because I enjoy the challenge of rhyming and repeating lines. I think it’s the repetition in a pantoum that can make the flow of the poem awkward at least for me.

Reflections: Summer 2019

it's summertime and we’re all together
happily splayed across Shane and Megan’s couch
golden light embraces love framed forever
granddaughters, sons, lovers perfectly slouched

happily splayed across Shane and Megan’s couch
I smile through my pain, cherishing a moment
granddaughters, sons, lovers, perfectly slouched,
my heart replete, a day of enjoyment

I smile through my pain, cherishing a moment
accepting life's fragile bonds, I hold on
my heart replete, a day of enjoyment
I feel precious time moving us beyond

accepting life's fragile bonds, I hold on
golden light embraces love framed forever
I feel precious time moving us beyond−
it's summertime and we’re all together

By Barb Edler
Barb Edler Avatar

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Barb Edler
Hello, I am a retired English teacher. I live along the Mississippi River and enjoy watching birds, the river, and nature in general. Writing for me is a gateway to healing, and I love to wrestle words in hopes of capturing an emotion or image others may relate.
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14 responses to “Sunday’s Gray”

  1. kimhaynesjohnson Avatar
    kimhaynesjohnson

    Barb, this is a slice of love, gratefulness, fragility, and sorrow and joy all rolled into one. I do love that you are also in the picture. That is one beautiful family! You can see the love clearly. I’m looking forward to the book group, but I didn’t finish the book. I can tell though that it is a marvelous choice!

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    1. Barb Edler Avatar
      Barb Edler

      It’s pretty intense I think. Her language is rich and slows the reading down.

      Like

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  2. kimhaynesjohnson Avatar
    kimhaynesjohnson

    I forgot to write my favorite line, though I love them all and the form.
    fav: golden light embraces love framed forever

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  3. Glenda Funk Avatar
    Glenda Funk

    Barb,

    This is such a bittersweet memory. I hear and see you holding competing emotions in your heart, the joy of family together, and the sorrow and grief that’s always near the surface. You are such a sensitive, generous person who deserves good things in life. I want to fill your day w/ sunshine and joy. I love your poem. Some things bear repeating, and the pantoum offers that for this memory.

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    1. Barb Edler Avatar
      Barb Edler

      Thank you, Glenda for your thoughtful response. I don’t think we’re going to get any sunshine today.

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  4. dgSciGuy Avatar
    dgSciGuy

    Thanks for sharing such a blessed memory with us. I like that you gave us the background to help us understand the simplicity and magnificence of this moment.

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  5. wordancerblog Avatar
    wordancerblog

    There is so much love in the photo and the poem. The repetition works well I think with the grief you are also conveying. You are all there, but one is missing, and you are a reflection in the mirror. Such a strong pairing, Barb. We can feel your loss.

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  6. Maureen Young Ingram Avatar
    Maureen Young Ingram

    Barb, I think a pantoum is like a prayerful song, with its soft repetition of lines. The format is ideal for your loving, sad, heartfelt words – my eyes mist at “I feel precious time moving us beyond−”, which speaks to grief and loss, and understanding that we hold nothing forever, everything is always changing. Thank you for sharing this poem here; it is precious. I hurt for you, the loss of your son. Of course you “just want to pull the covers over my head and stay in bed” on a gray day.

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    1. Barb Edler Avatar
      Barb Edler

      Thank you, Maureen. Your kindness is appreciated!

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  7. shfruit Avatar
    shfruit

    Your poem is touching and full of love. I feel the pantoum is perfect for this.

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  8. Denise Krebs Avatar
    Denise Krebs

    Oh, Barb, what a clever way to take a group photo. You are smiling so sweetly and are a nice part of this family picture. I agree with Glenda, some things bear repeating, and I believe the pantoum is a great form for these powerful ideas. Blessings to you as you continue to process. This stanza is my favorite:

    I smile through my pain, cherishing a moment
    accepting life’s fragile bonds, I hold on
    my heart replete, a day of enjoyment
    I feel precious time moving us beyond

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Barb Edler Avatar
      Barb Edler

      I never intended to be in the photo. It was a happy coincidence.

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  9. Fran Haley Avatar
    Fran Haley

    Barb, the pantoum is just beautiful. So many truths, weaving in and out – accepting life’s fragile bonds, holding moments with family in a frame of eternal golden light, and memory of “summertime together.” In your post I was struck by the loss of your middle son. This line also struck deeply: “While walking around Devil’s Tower, an eerie wind created a sound I’d never heard before, a truly spiritual and unforgettable moment, and one I carry close to my heart.” I know the name came from a misinterpretation – I haven’t been there, but it seems to be a revered place and I hope that you had a sense of peace and healing there. The photo of your family is fantastic – complete with you, there in the mirror, taking the shot!

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    1. Barb Edler Avatar
      Barb Edler

      It’s very revered. Thanks for your thoughtful response, Fran!

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