Sitting Behind the Eight Ball

Death Matters

Slice of Life Post for March 2, 2025, 5:30-6:00 a.m. by Barb Edler

5:32 to 6:03

Today I did not wake until 6:30 a.m. so I was definitely in La La Land. I used to be up all the time by 5:30, especially when I was teaching. Early morning hours were the best time for me to think, plan, respond to papers and prepare for the day. 

Today my schedule is packed full which I know is a blessing, but I need to spend more time at TWT reading posts and responding to others. I will be doing better with that soon. I do not want to be the bird pooping a post and flying off without reading lots of other posts. 

One reason today is full is because my sister-in-law is here. She came last night and had to wait for us to return from the very long euchre tournament yesterday. She’s planning on attending a great nephew’s first birthday at a church in our town. We also have another euchre tournament, and the Iowa Girls team is playing Wisconsin at 3:00 p.m. We are die-hard Hawkeyes, and we suffer through numerous losses and sometimes victories. We miss our Caitlin Clark but know we can still enjoy watching her play on the Indiana Fever team. One of my goals this month is to write a poem about Caitlin. She is truly remarkable and someone we can take pride in.  

My sister-in-law lost her husband a few months ago. She shared with us how she is dealing with the “new” things without her husband, someone she was with for fifty years. I cannot share a lot of what she said, of course, but when you lose a lifetime partner and have to begin your day without that person by your side to share your thoughts and your time, it’s devastating. One way she copes is by talking to him.  Losing a loved one doesn’t mean you lose the relationship.

I hope your day is full, too, or that you can relax and enjoy the simple moments. The best event of my day will be at 9:00 a.m. when my grandson is coming to meet his great aunt for the first time. I can’t wait! 

I’ll close today’s post with a haiku I wrote.

does our death
            matter—taken quietly
                                      or by fire
Barb Edler Avatar

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Barb Edler
Hello, I am a retired English teacher. I live along the Mississippi River and enjoy watching birds, the river, and nature in general. Writing for me is a gateway to healing, and I love to wrestle words in hopes of capturing an emotion or image others may relate.
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10 responses to “Death Matters”

  1. Glenda Funk Avatar
    Glenda Funk

    Barb,

    I giggled at “I do not want to be the bird pooping a post and flying off without reading lots of other posts.” You won’t be that person, I know. Then the tone shift, like a volta in a poem, arrived. I read about your SIL lying in bed, w/Ken’s hand touching my right side. It’s a little thing that makes a big difference. in life. Your words magnify that. Have a wonderful Sunday. Hugs to you and your SIL.

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    1. Barb Edler Avatar
      Barb Edler

      Thank you, Glenda! I think that expression might have been borrowed from someone you know well. Lol!

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  2. kimhaynesjohnson Avatar
    kimhaynesjohnson

    Barb, like Glenda, I laughed at the bird pooping and flying off. Sometimes there have been days like that for me when I didn’t intend for things to end up where I couldn’t get back to comment as I had originally prioritized and I hope folks forgave me for those times. I’m deeply sorry about your sister in law. When Mom died, I worried so much about Dad. He still talks to my mom, too – – I believe it’s part of his process of grief. Your poem is one with thought I have often wondered about – – the quick or the slow way of leaving our loved ones behind. I’m glad there is heaven, either way, so that we know we will all be together on the other side of this life.

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    1. Barb Edler Avatar
      Barb Edler

      Yes, the other side offers great hope during the darkest times.

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  3. Patricia J Holloway Avatar
    Patricia J Holloway

    I smiled at that line too. I’ve been that ole bird a few times. Death does matter and either way is devastating. It leaves you so alone. I read somewhere that you lose your mirror, your reflection. For me that explained how I felt without my husband. I was never comfortable in any place. I still feel restless. Time will mark 3 years in April. All my best to your sister in law.

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    1. Barb Edler Avatar
      Barb Edler

      Patricia, my heart goes out to you. Your comments about losing a mirror, your reflection is so true and provocative. I lost a son five years ago. Although you learn new ways to cope, they are always missed, always loved, always beside you in one way or the other. Thanks for responding to my post and appreciate your thoughtful response.

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      1. Patricia J Holloway Avatar
        Patricia J Holloway

        Thank you

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  4. Heidi Allum Avatar
    Heidi Allum

    I love the joy and sorrow of this post; this humour (pooping and taking off), but then your really thoughtful haiku to wrap up the power of your message. I don’t know if this was purposeful — but the cycle of life here, with the death of your sister-in-law’s partner, to the meeting of your grandson. Full circle, which was really evident.

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    1. Barb Edler Avatar
      Barb Edler

      Thank you, Heidi!

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  5. Denise Krebs Avatar
    Denise Krebs

    Barb, what a great way to handle the time frame for today. I slept through mine for tomorrow’s post, since I’m working a day ahead, I guess, I already lived that slice. (That sounds so weird when I try to make sense of it.) Anyway, I like how you wrote about what is going on in this busy day. I’m glad you and your sister-in-law can be surrounded with family. Thinking of her at this hard time.

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