Early morning begins with a long list of tasks to accomplish. Yesterday was emotionally draining. Today I must rise above the depressed skies, looming storms, and get things done.

Life is all about decisions. What we do. What we don’t do. How we make the most of the day or how get sucked into a quagmire of despair. My emotions are never easily contained. Although I have patience, I lack patience. Although I can accept life’s pile of unexpected crap, I can also be easily hurt. It is what it is. My emotions often rule my decisions, and I think often about my life choices. Many I regret, but I have always believed I made one very smart decision as a sophomore in high school shared in the following vignette:

“Go, Monkey, go! Go, Monkey, go!” I hear my own personal fan club shout from the stands. They’re probably band kids I know who could give two cents about the game, but they’re rooting for me because I’m also a member of the high school band. Most likely they are part of the pep band, and not at the game because of my stellar athleticism on the basketball court. To be honest, I am a bit surprised and embarrassed to hear their encouraging shouts although I was the kind of kid who was always desperately seeking attention.   

After playing for a full five seconds, the referee blows the whistle. I committed a foul against an offensive player and the opposing team is awarded a couple of free throws.  Fifteen seconds later, I foul again. Wow, I guess I can’t use my hands to try to get the ball, I think to myself. I’m just lucky to get any time on the basketball court at all since I am basically a bench warmer and going in at the last three minutes of the game doesn’t mean I’m warmed and ready to make a big game changing difference. Although I do not remember much from that experience, I imagine we must have been ahead to even get any personal playing time.

I do remember one particular game a bit more fondly. My sixth grade P.E. teacher was allowed to choose the players because our head coach was absent for some reason. He let me play for a whole five minutes. I was inspired to block shots, steal balls and send them down to the offensive end where my teammates scored. I was on a roll, feeling supremely happy, but knowing inside that it was just because my former P.E. teacher was giving me the chance. I didn’t want to disappoint him, and I think he was kind of proud of me although I don’t remember his reply to my question, “Well, how did you think I did, Mr. P?” 

I think it was something like, “Yeah, that was quite a wild pass down the court.”

Smiling, I replied, “It sure was,” and ran off laughing. My days playing six women basketball came to an end after my sophomore year. I just told myself, “Look, Barb, you’re a bench warmer. The stage lights are where you need to be.”

Hello, Drama! I never made it to Hollywood, but I still dream of getting to play the perfect evil role in some movie that would change my life forever, and I sure was a lot more successful on stage than anywhere else I’ve ever been. 

I think I could actually be a senior in this photo. A costume from a kid’s play I remember performing.
Barb Edler Avatar

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5 responses to “Better Choices”

  1. Fran McCrackin Avatar

    I guess your better choice was to go toward drama, but I am sorry you gave up basketball because you write about it with such relish and joy! I enjoyed this piece. My favorite line is ‘Although I have patience, I lack patience.’ somehow, that line really resonates with me! I also love how your dramatic goal is to have that evil part! I get that , too…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Glenda Funk Avatar

    Barb,

    I love, love, love that photo. You look like a star! So dang cute! And you may be a bench warmer, but you were on the team. The stands are as close as I ever got to any sport. Also, I love the way you framed this post. These memories from the past flood my mind in the morning and throughout the day, depending on where I am at any given moment.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Denise Krebs Avatar
    Denise Krebs

    Barb, when you explained that five minutes of playing defense on the basketball court, I remembered that six-player game separated by O and D. Wow, it’s been a long time. (Was that because someone thought women were too weak to play full court?) Anyway, I’m glad Mr. P. gave you that fun experience. And then you found your passion in drama. That photo is amazing of you as a senior. Your joy is contagious!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. kimhaynesjohnson Avatar

    Look at you in that cute gingham shirt and pony tail! I love your smile in this picture. I would have sworn with your love of Iowa Basketball that you were a basketball player – – and of course, I see that your love of drama is where the slam poetry comes alive. You have a commanding presence on stage and can memorize lines and poems – – and you love it! I’m loving this slice today. Seems I am always learning something new about you.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Forestwood Avatar

    You embraced the opportunity- well done!!

    Like

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